BETWEEN STEREOTYPES AND MY AFRICAN-NESS.

I live in a part of the world where the average African is stereotyped as everything bad and negative, as one who is unproductive. You mention the word African and they start to think of voodoo (juju).
Being the only black person in a class of 20-something overgrown babies who I am forced against my volition to regard as "supposedly mature" graduates, is tough. I am being watched everywhere I go. Every move I make is monitored. Yet, I am not paranoid.

To them, as far as they are concerned, I don't know anything and I am not supposed to know anything. I am supposed to be the academic fool they already perceived.

I answer a question in class and they tell me it's wrong straight up. But when they answer, it is the exact same thing I said. They just used different words interchangeably. People of colour cannot know anything. They are not afraid to tell me I do not know anything. They are not afraid to rub it in my face.

They try to mark me down and when I try to fight for my grades they tell me I didn't give them the answer that was suitable enough for them as with their fellow "pale-skinned" people. They call me to tell me they are watching my grades and hoping that I fail so that they can use that as justification to prove that I do not know it.

I work in a team and contribute ideas and suggestions. I write up summaries of research. They trash it and say it is not suitable. They put theirs instead, only to find out at the dying minute before presentation that they could actually fit in some of my contributions.

They tell me that I am from a "developing" country where the standard of education cannot beat theirs because my developing country is still struggling to gain grounds whereas theirs sits on a golden pedestal. So I have nothing to offer.

I meet my "fellow peers" to ask questions and share ideas and they tell me they will not share what they have and will not tell me what they know because it is a competition and I am not supposed to know more than they know. Whatever they know, they keep to themselves so that no one else will know.

I stay up burning thousands of candles upon candles, trying to quench my thirst and they get surprised. They begin to ask but rather than being stingy, I give what I have and tell what I know because I know that I can only grow and move forward by sharing. They will not be caught dead burning candles.

I ask a question to cure my ignorance and they are outraged that I had the audacity to ask them what the others couldn't think of, so they answer it in an unsatisfactory way. But when they ask a question, they are being given the best of explanations I would never have dreamed of.

I try to answer a question and they see me as competition they can't handle. They think I am trying to challenge their intelligence and they are not happy.

When I don't answer a question and decide to keep quiet, I am deliberately being picked on and forced to answer it because according to them, I should know it. I know it. I should talk and contribute and stop being quiet.

I make a seminar presentation and they deliberately find every possible way to "rattle" me and tell me to my face that they want to rattle me. According to them, they want to see me involved, but I know they don't want me to be more involved than they are because they want all the glory.

They are not happy when I beat their wildest imaginations because it is not what they expect of me.

They smile at me to make me feel comfortable and get me to talk by all means. Try as hard as they might it's a fruitless effort they can't handle. Behind me, they try to snitch in every possible way they could and even make up false stories and lies to add unnecessary flames to the fire they try to create. Oh yes. Tell me which African has not been snitched on in this part of the world and I would tell you that the person is trying to be hypocritical.

I am not angry when I am discriminated against. Sincerely, how can anyone deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It is beyond me.